Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

• Men are not subtle. Men are obvious. Women know what men want. Men know what men want. What do we want? We want women!
• It's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.
• See, now, to me, that button is in the worst possible spot.
• If you've got a t-shirt with blood stains all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now.
• Just because a hospital gets a grant to study DNA doesn't mean they are creating a race of mutant pigmen.
• You know what a good mechanic is worth? You can't compare that to sex.
• I'm saying that the spit could not have come from behind, that there had to have been a second spitter, behind the bushes on the gravelly road.
• No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it's not to be.
• Looking at a cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.