Earl Hickey Quotes

• The last time I stood in front of a room full of foreigners, I was robbin' the DMV.
• They're pretend, just like Richie Rich and Donald Trump. They're just TV characters.
• One good thing about the cold is finding things in your coat pockets that you put there a year ago.
• If he was poor, we'd call him crazy, but since he's rich, we just call him Sir.
• For a minute I wondered if, once again, I had drunk nine months of my life away.
• I've been stabbed by plenty of girls. It only really hurts when you twist it, pull it out and stick it back in.
• The only valuables you should ever keep in your shoes are your feet.
• Nice. You kiss your illegitimate children with that mouth?
• I can't be anyone's boyfriend. I'm karma's bitch.